Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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