i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
