Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
