The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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