Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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