Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need a burrito and a hug.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
