oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
