Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
