Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
