"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
