Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
