...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize