is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
