I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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