I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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