So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
