so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
