If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize