i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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