Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
