just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize