I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
