I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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