I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
