Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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