I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
