i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
