Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
