yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
