No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize