in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
