You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
