Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
