its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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