I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
