is your mom at the bar?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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