so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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