its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think people are normalizing furries
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize