i think i have herpe
just one?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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