You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
