put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize