Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
