ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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