i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize