Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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