it was like having sex with a tree stump
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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