A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
