"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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