You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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