ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
