I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
