dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
