My nipple is on Facebook.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
