so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
