you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
