I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
