I wish I could punch you in the face.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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