Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
