Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I puked a lego.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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