It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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