I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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