A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
