I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
