Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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