dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
